Where are you from?

'Where are you from?' is probably the most dreaded question ever to be asked to a TCK. A question that comes so easily to others doesn't come so easily to us. A sense of dooming dread washes over us as if we were being marched to our death. At least that is the way it feels to me. 'I don't know', is the answer you want to give them, 'does it really matter, I am right here right now in this moment' is another one. I find myself just asking the person where they are from because I know that their answer is probably going to be much less complicated than mine. And I have even gone so far as to ask them multiple questions about their childhood home and the city or state they live in now just to avoid answering the question that was asked to me. Was I being rude? Not really, I wanted to know about where they grew up and the horse that lived down the street in the pasture by the stream. If I had answered their question I would probably take 20 minutes just to answer what normally would be a 1 min answer. There is never an easy way to answer such a question. I just go with what I feel on the inside which is Japanese. If I said India, which is what I look like on the outside and what is the most judged by everyone, then they would ask me question about a culture I really don't know much of. I only lived there till I was 2 and my upbringing wasn't surrounded by Indian culture. I get judged by other Indian people because I am Indian but I married a person outside of my race. My husband is white and our children are mixed with varying degrees of tan colors between them. In Indian culture it is not completely accepted to marry outside your race but I am not really from India. I was just born there. I went back to India when I was 20 but felt like a complete tourist and relied on my parents knowledge and understanding of how to conduct myself while I was there. No one paid any attention to me. I was mistaken for my parents translator while I was there because I was Indian and my parents are white. It was truly a culture shock to my system and after our vacation in India my parents and I went back home to Japan. I suffered from severe reverse culture shock. I was home. Safe in the environment I felt comfortable in. I was surrounded by a language I understood and an understanding of things where what they were supposed to be. And to make matters worse I then left home and went back to the US a week later. It took months to get over the shock of going to India and then back to America having to deal with two utter different culture shocks. I went from this

To this

And then back home

I learned to appreciate home. It didn't matter what people thought of me. The outward me. I knew where I had come from and the support and love that got me home. I know that it doesn't matter how I explain my TCK life to someone who will only nod and say I understand, when actually they won't. I know that my heart belongs to Japan. That my life was changed living there. And I appreciate the life I lived there. So now when asked I ask them 'Do you want the long version or short version?' The long version is the pictures you see. The short version is Japan and leave it at that. If they choose to judge me because I don't look Japanese. Then that is up to them. I know where I am from. I can tell you how I got there. But it is difficult for a non TCK to truly understand the power of those words. "Where are you from"?